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Hmm.
On Tue, 4 Nov 2003 13:36:07 -0800
Jeff Lowery <Jeff.Lowery@creo.com> wrote:
> Oh, gee whiz, John.
>
> Here's the original; maybe we could do a round-robin parody. I made a
> couple attempts at the first verse, but they sucked hard.
>
> GENERAL:
> I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
> I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
> From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I am the data model of a modern markup: XML,
I've information that is queried, path-driven, from ess-gee-em-el,
I owe my speed to Bosak, and to Bray and Clark and Murata-mel, [1]
From DTD to RNG, avoiding type schemata hell,
[1] Ouch. Think of it as a mispronunciation of -san, okay? Apologies.
Oh, well. "speed" is inappropriate, but "leanness" and "simplicity"
have two many syllabobillities.
And actually, a data model at present is right *in* type schemata hell.
Have to think about this one ....
Amy!
> I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
> I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
> About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
> With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
>
> ALL:
> With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
> With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
> With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
>
> GENERAL:
> I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
> I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
> In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
> ALL:
> In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
> GENERAL:
> I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
> I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
> I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
> In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
>
> I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
> I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
> Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
> And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
>
> ALL:
> And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
> And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
> And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
>
> GENERAL:
> Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
> And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
> In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
> ALL:
> In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
> GENERAL:
> In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
> When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
> When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
> And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
> When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
> When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery--
> In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
> You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
>
> ALL:
> You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
> You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
> You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
>
> GENERAL:
> For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
> Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
> But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
> ALL:
> But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
> He is the very model of a modern Major-General.
>
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--
Amelia A. Lewis amyzing {at} talsever.com
Yankees are compelled by some mysterious force to imitate Southern
accents and they're so damn dumb they don't know the difference beween
a Tennessee drawl and a Charleston clip.
-- Rita Mae Brown, "Rubyfruit Jungle"
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