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Rich Salz wrote:
> Someone wishing to remain anonymous sent me this. I thought it was
> funny; I hope others do and nobody takes offense:
>
>> Nobody expects the RESTifarian Inquisition! Our chief weapon is
>> surprise...surprise and tedium ...tedium and surprise.... our two
>> weapons are tedium and surprise...and ruthless disregard for
>> unpleasant facts.... Our three weapons are tedium, surprise, and
>> ruthless disregard ...and an almost fanatical devotion to Roy Fielding
Cool! I think we just found a way out of koans...
The Dead Spec Sketch:
A customer enters a WS shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this
specification what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Big-Wizzdl...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. it's dead,
that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, it's uh,...it's RESTing.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead specification when I see one,
and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, he's RESTin'! Remarkable spec, the
Big-Wizzdl, idn'it, ay? Beautiful appendix!
Mr. Praline: The appendix don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! it's RESTing!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's RESTin', I'll wake it up! (shouting
at the server) 'Ello, Mister Polly Morphic! I've got a lovely fresh
trout fish for you if you show...
(owner hits the server)
Owner: There, it moved!
Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the server!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO WIZZY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes specification out of the cage and thumps its soap header on the
counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead specification.
Owner: No, no.....No, it's deprecated!
Mr. Praline: DEPRECATED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You deprecated him, just as he was wakin' up! Big-Wizzdls
deprecate easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough
of this. That specification is definitely deceased, and when I purchased
it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement
was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged review.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the pjorts.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the PJORTS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?,
look, why did it fall flat on his back the moment I got it home?
Owner: The Big-Wizzdl prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable spec,
id'nit, squire? Lovely appendix!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the LIBERTY of examining that specification
when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been
sitting on its rack in the first place was that it had been NAILED down.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that spec
down, it would have nuzzled up to that web, teased it apart, and VOOM!
Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this spec wouldn't "voom" if you put four
million volts through it! 'It's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! it's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'It's not pinin'! it's passed on! This specification is no
more! It has ceased to be! it's expired and gone to meet 'its maker!
it's a stiff! Bereft of life, it RESTs in peace! If you hadn't nailed it
to the server 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! it's parametric processes
are now 'istory! it's off the twig! it's kicked the bucket, it's
shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the
bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-SPEC!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind
the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop,
and uh, we're right out of specifications.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a JavaBeanie.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
cheers
Bill
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