Editorial suggestions (most can wait, but a few need to be done before the
big deadline):
- Remove the 02a revision history row (it was just for internal consumption).
- Change the Status to mention the security-services-comment list instead
of being inwardly focused.
- Remove the change tracking.
- When referring to sections, s/section/Section/
- Where footnotes just provide citations, add a bibliography entry in the
back and a cross-reference in the text.
- Ensure that cross-references to bibliography entries are "extra"; the
flow of sentences shouldn't rely on their presence.
At 04:46 PM 1/9/02 -0400, Chris McLaren wrote:
>Here's the latest, incorporating the following:
>
>1) Eve's changes
>2) My changes in response to Eve's comments
>3) Comments and changes from Prateek
>4) Filling in my TBDs
>5) Added a section on Key Management (background on the limitations of
>security based on key-to-identity binding strength)
>6) Added a Privacy section. This is basically a comment that you should
>keep private things confidential combined with a section on anonymity
>that is based pretty heavily on Marlena's notes to the list.
>
>I am looking forward to comments and additional text from everyone, as
>they review the document.
>
>C.
--
Eve Maler +1 781 442 3190
Sun Microsystems XML Technology Center eve.maler @ sun.com
