As promised, I've done an extensive proof read from beginning through to
line 519.
A few comments:
- Acrobat is not a word-processor, sorry guys but it doesn't cut the mustard
for clear and detailed editing, even if I respect that Matt needs to retail
referential integrity over the version. So the document might look a bit
messy in places and difficult to read;
- There are a few sticky note comments on a small number of phrases that I
don't understand and may, thus, not be understood by a wider audience:
Frank, in particular, take a butcher's;
- Although there are still a couple of things I personally disagree with,
I've tried not to change the sense of any part, at least not intentionally
;-)
- I've completely reworded Ken's electricity utility example in 2.2.2.5:
it's such a good analogy, I've proposed a re-wording that hopefully gets it
across well: there is a sting in the tail, with the addition at the end of
the paragraph when stating that hardwiring would be a different service - I
go out on a limb by adding that "this would not be an SOA" - shoot me as
appropriate.
I will try to find time to do lines 520 to 692, but can't promise when - so
if anyone else wants a bash...and, Prasanta: get well soon...
Peter
-----Original Message-----
From: Matt MacKenzie [mailto:]
Sent: 15 September 2005 01:56
To: Duane Nickull; Brown, Al; Ken Laskey; SOA-RM
Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
Who is the proofreading team? They are a set of volunteers who signed up
for this task at or around the last f2f. There are only a few of them, and
that's all we really need. These individuals include Michael Stiefel, Al
Brown and ?... (I forget the rest. You know who you are!)
Q&A
----
1. Q: I'm not on the proofreading team. Should I wait to submit issues?
A: No. Please submit your issues against 08, just don't submit grammar and
spelling issues. The proofreading team's goal is to cut down the obvious,
non-contentious stuff.
2. Q: Why is the proofreading team proofreading during general TC review,
instead of prior to? A: This has happened because we, mostly me, were too
busy to remember to do it the right way ;-) Uhh, sorry :-)
3. Q: So I believe I am a proofreader. How do I make my comments? A:
The attached document has been "reader enabled", which means commenting
features within Acrobat Reader software which are normally only available to
Acrobat Standard/Professional users will be enabled for this document. Just
use the commenting tools (notes, text replacement, strike out, etc.), save
the document with your comments, and...
4. Q: Who do I send my commented document to? A: Send it to mattm@adobe, who
will handle whatever else needs to happen.
5. Q: Hey, this Adobe commenting / reader enablement stuff is cool. Do you
have server products that I can buy that would allow me to do interesting
things with those features? A: Yes, ask me for details :-) Ok, that's an
obvious plug, I hope you can forgive me!
-Matt
Please use the Acrobat commenting features to indicate text changes that are
not substantial, e.g. grammar, spelling, voice
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_voice), etc.
-----Original Message-----
From: Duane Nickull
Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 7:28 PM
To: Matt MacKenzie; Brown, Al; Ken Laskey; SOA-RM
Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
Should the proof readers use the commenting template or just use sticky
notes?
Duane
-----Original Message-----
From: Matt MacKenzie [mailto:]
Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 2:42 PM
To: Brown, Al; Ken Laskey; SOA-RM
Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
Oops. We forgot about the proof readers. Yes, if you guys can give a run
through looking for grammatical stuff and send comments directly to myself
or Frank, we will incorporate those changes and rev the draft outside of the
issues process.
-matt
-----Original Message-----
From: Brown, Al [mailto:]
Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 5:12 PM
To: Ken Laskey; SOA-RM
Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
Hi. I have not checked out this draft yet, so I apologize if this is
already covered there. On this draft, when will it enter the proof-reading
phase? Do you still need proof-readers? And lastly, when will we be able to
open issues against it?
Regards, -Al
-----Original Message-----
From: Ken Laskey [mailto:]
Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 2:09 PM
To: SOA-RM
Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
Sorry for the fuss. I probably have several people I should send copies to.
Ken
At 04:39 PM 9/13/2005, Duane Nickull wrote:
>Oui Monsieur!
>
>It is written that it is an editors draft. Actual mileage may vary.
>
>Duane
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Chiusano Joseph [mailto:]
>Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 11:53 AM
>To: SOA-RM
>Subject: RE: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
>
>My understanding is that all drafts are supposed to be publicly
>available, per OASIS policy. But Duane and/or Jamie can confirm for us.
>
>Joe
>
>Joseph Chiusano
>Booz Allen Hamilton
>O: 703-902-6923
>C: 202-251-0731
>Visit us online@ http://www.boozallen.com
>
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Ken Laskey [mailto:]
> > Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 2:17 PM
> > To: SOA-RM
> > Subject: [soa-rm] 08 draft publicly available
> >
> > Someone sent me the following
> >
> > Reference Model for Service Oriented Architectures.
> > by
> > OASIS SOA Reference Model TC, Working Draft 08
> >
> > This Service Oriented Architecture Reference Model is an abstract
> > framework for understanding significant entities and relationships
> > amongst them within a service-oriented environment, and for the
> > development of consistent standards or specifications supporting
> > that environment. It is based on unifying concepts of SOA and may be
> > used by architects developing specific services oriented
> > architectures or for education and explaining SOA. A reference model
> > is not directly tied to any standards, technologies or other
> > concrete implementation details, but it does seek to provide a
> > common semantics that can be used unambiguously across and between
> > different implementations.
> > http://xml.coverpages.org/soa.html#SOA-RM-WD08
> > http://xml.coverpages.org/SOA-RM-WD08.pdf
> > http://www.oasis-open.org/committees/soa-rm/
> >
> > where the pdf link is our 08 draft. I was under the impression that
> > we were not supposed to be handing out draft that were not intended
> > for public review. Am I mistaken?
> >
> > Ken
> >
> > --
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------
> > -------------------
> > / Ken
> > Laskey
> > \
> > | MITRE Corporation, M/S H305 phone: 703-983-7934 |
> > | 7515 Colshire Drive fax:
> > 703-983-1379 |
> > \ McLean VA 22102-7508
> > /
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------
> > --------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
/ Ken
Laskey \
| MITRE Corporation, M/S H305 phone: 703-983-7934 |
| 7515 Colshire Drive fax: 703-983-1379 |
\ McLean VA 22102-7508
/
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
