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   [OFFTOPIC] Virus threat

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Someone here is bound to be interested in this
Dear Reader:

The Micro$oft "Hapathy" virus is an old virus.  Curtis Poe has assigned it a HIGH risk assessment.

Due to recently revealed material released in the Micro$oft anti-trust trial, it has been discovered that the Windows operating system is actually a malicious form of virus known as a "hapathy" virus.  This virus has been determined to induce "hapathy" in users who install any version of the Micro$oft Windows operating system.

For the two people in the United States who are unaware of what Windows is, it is a 32-bit extension of a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition (my apologies to the (unknown) author of this description).

Symptoms of the virus include:

  • Inability to admit that other, superior operating systems exist.
  • A curious belief that the dreaded "blue screen of death" is a natural occurrence.
  • Hyperventilation at the thought of a Unix shell account.
  • A willingness to pay exorbitant amounts of money for bugware.

Failure to promptly remove this virus may result in reduced competition in the software marketplace and a general acceptance of sub-standard software.

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