Bug report

[Dave Winer <dave@userland.com>]

This is a bug report on the philosophy of various XML-related mail lists,
actually all mail lists that are frozen and locked up, on the edge of
flaming out, with major disconnects and disagreements.

If you want to "work together," which seems to be the charter of many of
these lists, instead of invalidating other peoples' point of view, try
adopting their point of view, and feeding back what they said in positive
terms.

Like try saying this. "I understand what you're saying and that's a good
idea because..."

Really mean it, and see how it feels. And see how people respond to that.
People want to be heard. It's amazing sometimes how much they relax when
they feel they've been heard.

Every one of us has something to contribute, or we wouldn't be here.

Sometimes people disagree before they've really understood what the other
person has said. This is sad when it happens for two reasons. The first
person is reluctant to speak up next time for fear of being blamed for
starting a flamewar (highly unfair, the first person has no control over
someone else's response). And the other person missed an opportunity to
learn something new.

Dave